The Proposal

Commitment: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future. This word causes many to cringe and others to enter a state of euphoria. It is one of those words that seems to be a hot topic in any relationship and everyone is interested in just how 'committed' one is. A man, who will remain nameless, once told me that it was no mere coincidence that getting engaged was being committed, and that same word is used in describing consignment into an asylum!

I am the youngest of my family, so it is reasonable that my three older siblings would be married before me. However, what has seemed to have cause more consternation, particularly in females, is that I have been in a relationship with one person, Gretchen, for close to seven years without any signs of moving forward. (other than staying with her, which I have always claimed and believed was a sufficient showing of progression) Regardless, the looks I have received from the general public indicate the belief that I have a fear of commitment. My rebuttal, because my original argument that simply staying with a person is a sign of commitment is rarely sufficient for anyone, is that I was in school and had no desire to be taking classes, working and plan a wedding all at once. In vain I tried to assure those concerned that I would indeed take the necessary steps when the time was appropriate. "When I am finished with school..." I must have said those each time a person found out about my relationship. I had often thought about creating a business card, "7 years: when out of school I will take the next step!".

Why do you care and what does any of this have to do with my travels?

Gretchen will be traveling with me to whatever destination the COST program sends me. While we are there, we have hopes that she will be able to get a part time job to both help with the cost as well as give her something to do. In order to do any of this is to get her a work visa. Here in lies the problem: upon discussion with my professor, Dr. Cushner, and through various governmental websites, I have found out that countries are not as freely giving work visas out as one might expect. As with any governmental enterprise, the processes is long and arduous. My visa is not so difficult as I am working with the COST program. The good news is that countries are much more amiable towards the idea of Gretchen receiving the desired visas if there was some show of commitment (that's the word they used)...

You've got to be kidding me, that word! I'm sure they have their reasons, but seriously?

And now...the rest of the story...

Recently, I asked Gretchen to join me in the lifelong journey (and commitment) of marriage. I am taking the plunge, tying the knot, getting hitched, et cetera. Actually, if you are into that sort of thing, I recommend reading the origin of these phrases, very interesting. Ok, back on topic.

I know what you may be thinking, and I assure you this is not the case. Some may think the ONLY reason I have done this was to help with the visa situation and you could not be further from the truth. This was simply a way to include an important part of of my life here without deviating fully from the theme. I am a man of my word, and I have always said that I was fully committed to Gretchen and I would happily move forward once I was done with classes. We are planning on getting married next May, so that fulfills my need to wait. Although some details may deviate between my version and Gretchen's version of the story, here is how it happened from my perspective:

It was a normal day and I had nothing spectacular planned as I wanted her to be totally surprised the moment I asked. We went out to a driving range to hit golf balls and we returned to my house. At that point, I mentioned going out on the boat. When we arrived at the boat, Gretchen mentioned that it was getting close to dinner time and perhaps we should simply wait until after dinner and invite my parents to go with us on the boat...

The truth is I had no good reason to demand a boat ride at that moment and without the parents other than the one with which I wanted to surprise her. So, sweating profusely, we hung out by the water chatting and played around. Gretchen had gotten these bubble sticks that produced bubbles and created a certain ambiance. I decided that the time was right and so I proceeded into what I had planned. At this point, I was incredibly nervous, and I can only tell you what my plan was, I do not know how well I executed the words and it was such a surreal and exciting moment that both of us have trouble recalling exactly what was said.

I asked her what she like most about our relationship and she gave me an odd look, but then proceeded to answer. I believe she was saying something about us feeling comfortable with each other and being able to be ourselves, but my mind was not really focused on her words. I know I fail to listen at times, but I think this is one time she will forgive. Anyway, at some point I interjected with what may have seemed abrupt with an "Oh, that's cool" or "Yeah, I agree". Then I continued with a quote which I am sure I butchered.

You should not marry someone because you could live with them for the rest of your life, you should marry someone because they are the one person whom you cannot imagine living without.

I knelt to one knee and asked her, "Gretchen, will you marry me?"

Now, I cannot remember which form of the affirmative she chose to use, but was an excited affirmative. We hugged and went and sat on the boat and talked for a while enjoying the moment that will never come again. Sharing the moment as the only people aware of the monumental change that just occurred.

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities."
- Janos Arnay

The Wait

I applied to the Consotium for Oversease Student Teaching (or COST) in January. I still have not heard where I am going or when. This is to be somewhat expected as they had warned me in a meeting.

However...

As I am given more time to myself, I naturally and compulsively check my e-mail and wait for the USPS truck to drop of the daily mail. I may have a tinge of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but in my defense, I am beyond excited for this upcoming adventure. The question most want to know, and naturally so, is where I hope to go? (hey, that rhymed)...anyway...For those of you who are sitting on the edge of your office chairs at this point in complete captivation, I will explain the process of the COST program. For those who prefer to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, here is the horse's mouth

First off, here is a list of the items I needed in order to apply to the COST program: The application, a current photograph for the cover, a valid passport, three letters of recommendation from various sources, and BCII and FBI background checks that create a positive image of the Student Teacher to be.

The Application - Okay, so in the application it asked for a lot of information, but the only piece you, the engaged reader, care to know is where I am going. I had to put down four choices which I will list in no particular order as I will be psyched to go to any of them. They do have rank to me, and if you have talked to me about it you know. New Zealand, Australia, Greece and Scotland are the four places I may end up.


The sticky wicket of the situation is preparation. Without specific knowledge of where I am going, it is difficult to plan things such as air transportation or accomodation for the duration of my not quite vacation. I needed another 'a-t-i-o-n' word that I hadn't used this paragraph...and could not think of one that would entail a semester of hard work and and adventure to help me become a teacher. Dr. Cushner has been a wonderful help to me personally as I have been working through this process. There was a chance that I had a contact in Australia with whom I could student teach for. Unfortunately, this did not work out. However, Dr. Cushner checked it out for me when he was over there and has kept me updated on what was going on.

So, what have I been doing? I have always found it helpful to read up on a place before I go there. Currently I am reading In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson. This is a very funny book about Australia. I recommend it even if there is not the vaguest possibility that you will go to Australia. When I am through with that, I will move on to another book about one of the countries.

What looks to be the most exciting and advantageous experience of my life is also becoming quite a nerve racking one! You, my loyal reader, will be among the first to know where I am going when I find out.

Until then, I suppose I will just have to be complacently stressed and try not to think about...the wait.

For you, however, I have provided mindless and endless entertainment!

A Journey's End

Today I had my last class with my cohort. For those of you who have somehow stumbled upon this blog without any knowledge, allow me to explain.

I am working to become a middle school teacher. Kent State University is helping me reach this goal via their middle childhood education program. This school year (2008 - 2009), I have been placed with a group of peers. They are my cohort. We all have one teacher in common and that is Dr. Rishel. Other than that, who our professor is depends on the content areas of our choice. My areas are Mathematics and Social Studies.

Back to the story...

So, today was our last class together and it is the epitome of bittersweet. Throughout this school year, I have made many friends and grown close to these other pre-service teachers. I came to Kent State with one goal in mind: receiving my degree and license. At first, I attempted to keep my distance from the others with this day in mind. If I did not make any friends, there would be nothing to regret of getting the hell out of dodge, so to speak. Upon meeting these people, it became clear that this would not be possible and thoughts of this day and the feelings I am experiencing now faded into the background.

A wonderful group of people have touched my life and they will not be forgotten, and these feelings I had feared at the beginning I now welcome. I have sadness that these people, these friends, will go their separate ways. However, I am a better person and a happier person for knowing them. I hope that through technology such as this very blog I can keep in contact with as many as possible. If you are one of those people that has made an impact these last two semesters, thank you and please send me an e-mail or response to keep in communication.

I will leave you with this quote from Anais Nin

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."